To Love

(Material for this essay comes from the following books: “Love” and “Personhood” both by Dr. Leo F. Buscaglia and “When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough” by Rabbi Harold Kushner.)

                                          * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

(Writer’s note: I have noticed, over the years, that even though we have OCD, we have other psychological ills as well.

If we could fix the OCD, many of us would remain sick. We need to address the entire needs of patients, not just the OCD.

Many of us lack, for example, self worth and/or have low self esteem.

Here’s an essay that I had published on the internet where I am a volunteer contributor. It’s about loving oneself. The address, by the way, is personal-development.com/ken.

                                                                                                                 – Ken Munro)

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

To Love…….So, what do we mean “to love.”

Our first responsibility “to love” is to love ourselves. To discover who we are, our talents, our weaknesses. Our true being. It is a journey that never ends and is always under construction. What we are today, we necessarily may not be tomorrow. We are being molded through our pains, trials and crosses to bear.

But to love oneself can be misleading. It’s more like accepting oneself. Something that many people have troubling doing.

Much if it is due to our upbringing - i.e. family, friends, our environment, etc. We become by what we live by and learn from. If one is constantly living in an environment where belittling is the norm, it's hard maintaining confidence and self worth, let alone establishing these traits.

And we are not alone.

According to psychologist Dr. Pauline Clance in her book "The Imposter Phenomenon, When Success Makes You Feel Like A Fake," suggests that 70 percent of successful people suffer from the Imposter Phenomenon - a constant worry that, although admired and respected, they will, some day, be "found out." They feel that they are failures masquerading as successes.

Dr. Clance believes that more than half the population suffers from it - at least, from time to time. Boiled down in its simplest form, it says "I don't like myself. I'm not what I should be - and I doubt if I ever will be."

And according to her mail, the late columnist Ann Landers stated there were millions of affluent "failures" and an equal number of "successes" who have nothing in the bank.

Then, how do we learn to accept ourselves?

We must realize that most people do not have it together. Canadian religion author Tom Harpur claims that we are all weak and the fact by being human we are all vulnerable. And he suggests that the way in which we conquer our weaknesses is to confront them directly. This is the first step in spiritual and moral growth.

We sometimes feel that we don’t measure up to God’s standards. But religion should liberate us. It’s man’s distortion of faith that has hurt us.

In Judaism, a person is created in the image of God. Therefore, man is not sinful in nature but good. And religion does not demand of us to be perfect. It allows us to be human. In the Old Testament, Ecclesiastes 7:15 - 17, we read that we should be neither too good nor wicked.

And according to the Talmud, a book of wisdom which is part of the Jewish faith states: “At Judgment Day, every man will have to give account for everything which he might have enjoyed and did not.” The problem arises when these good things are taken to extreme, becoming addictive. But that is our fault, not God’s.

Even in the Christian faith, we are accepted. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. (Romans 8: 38 – 39)

 

Our second responsibility “to love” is to love all men. Dr. Leo Buscaglia in his book “Love” writes: “man shall love others to the extent he loves himself.

And we cannot love others unless we have faith. Writes Erich Fromm:  “Love is an act of faith and whoever is of little faith, is also of little love.”

Dr. Buscaglia adds: “there are those who believe anything less than love of all men is not love at all. They argue that who does not love all men sincerely cannot love even a single person deeply since all men are one.”

To love someone, we must have the ultimate concern for that person addressing his needs, his hurts. It goes beyond just mere “lip” service of speaking words of encouragement. To love someone means to get actively involved in the person’s welfare. We help him become the person that he was meant to be by humbling ourselves and being of service. Taoism interpretation of the Golden Rule sums it up best: “Treat your neighbor’s loss as your loss and your neighbor’s gain as your gain.”

Sadly, to love is rarely practiced and so desperately needed.

We can start by trying to have a better understanding of one’s suffering, empathizing with his pain, walking in his shoes. Just by listening with a sympathetic ear and a compassionate heart can have a great healing effect.

If we have ministered to his needs and are the only ones benefitting, we have failed. We probably have done more harm than help him.

And “to love” is difficult. At the heart of loving is vulnerability. We have to risk. We have to take a chance. It means showing our vulnerable side. It also opens us to criticism. And that can be scary. People may take advantage of us. It means stepping out of our “comfort zone.” But this can be done without people walking all over us – by not giving up our self respect.

And what we call loving by some is often more about control. It is often based on fear such as the religious zealots who want to control us with their value systems. Or those who want to push their views down our throats by playing “rescuer.” They give us what they think we need, because it has worked for them, not what we actually need. One man’s medicine is another man’s poison.

As Thomas Merton wrote:”the beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”

We have a duty to love. Dr. Leo Buscaglia writes: “man has no choice but to love. For when he does not, he finds his alternatives lie in loneliness, destruction and despair.”

So many tragedies are caused by peoples’ insecurities, fears, low self esteem, loneliness, etc. I’m amazed how many of these tragedies that could have been avoided if someone had reached out and practiced genuine love.

A church marquee sums it up: Love fails only when we fail to love.

More To Treatment Than Just Treating Our OCD

What causes our OCD?

We don’t know the cause of our OCD. It is believed by some that the origins of many obsessions relate to the kind of conflict about sex, aggression, guilt. Freud believed in this theory.

Dr. M. Scott Peck, an American psychiatrist and author of the best seller “The Road Less Traveled” believed that many of our mental health symptoms originate from the subconscious   mind and that it shows that something in our whole being or that our human spirit is not maturing and in need of repair. Though he does not talk about OCD, he speaks about anxiety.

The problem with this concept is that it means a lot of work on the part of the patient. A lot of soul searching. My experience is that patients want a quick fix for their OCD. And nothing more.

The medical system won’t address these wounds. Only the OCD. It’s too much work, it’s costly and it would interfere with the use of medications. The pharmaceutical companies fund much of the research. Our suffering becomes a commodity.

But what if our symptoms are a reflection of something in need of repair in our human spirit, in our soul, in our being.

Take, for example, the patient who has compulsions about personal hygiene. The person’s need to check or wash constantly isn’t so much about personal hygiene but rather has a low opinion about himself.

If the patient discovers the “wound” that is in need of repair, how, then, does he fix it? To fix his wound, is a lifelong battle.

 

Those who treat OCD and other psychiatric ailments would be wise to address the entire needs of the patient and not just the illness. Things like love, faith, hope, a sense of purpose, etc. can positively affect our illness. The psychiatric system refuses to do this.

When I have a focus, a passion for something, my symptoms are drastically reduced.

I think there is a direct connection when the medical system addresses the entire needs of the patients  - and not just OCD sufferers -  their symptoms are drastically reduced.

And by refusing to address these needs, are doctors not violating their Hippocratic Oath:”Do no harm?”

 

Dr. Jerome D. Frank, (1909 – 2005) American psychiatrist, professor of psychiatry at John Hopkins University Medical School once wrote that “any treatment that does not minister to the human spirit is grossly deficient.”

                                                       -   Ken Munro

Three Types of Therapies That Have Helped Me - A Personal View

(Information for this essay comes from the following sources: the book “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Dr. Norman Doige, M.D., the website “ocduk.org/four-steps.”

 

Writer’s note: this essay is only my personal view. It is not meant as therapy. I have no right offering therapy. I recommend that the reader contact his/her doctor for therapy.

- Ken Munro)

 

                                  * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

INTRODUCTION

 

Over the years, we feel the only way in bringing peace of mind to our OCD situations is by acting out our rituals and compulsions and by practising avoidance behaviours.

 

If we are to have any chance of recovery, we have to learn a whole new discipline in managing/conquering our OCD. As the saying goes: “old habits are hard to break.”  It’s a lot of work. It’s not easy. But it can be done.

 

We just have to be shown the way.

 

Secondly, I do not believe we are ever totally cured from our OCD. But we can to learn to manage it. If we have been cured, my first reaction is how sick was the individual originally?

 

Over the years, I have been taught several therapies. A lot of information was thrown my way. Often confusing. With this essay, I’ve tried to simply everything.

 

Here are 3 types of therapies that have helped me:

 

(1) cognitive behaviour therapy

(2) the concept that the brain is made of plastic or "plasticity" and

(3) "Brain lock" therapy.

 

First, cognitive behaviour therapy or CBT.

 

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOUR THERAPY

 

There are two parts to cognitive behaviour therapy:

 

Cognitive – the knowing part, the theory. The principle that giving in to our compulsions makes matters worse.

 

By giving in to our OCD, we may “win the battle but not the war.” We may get temporarily relief but the sources of our fears are still present. Original fears must be confronted. And we become prone to new fears.

 

In the long run, giving in makes matters worse.

 

The behaviour part – the practice of confronting one’s fears. And there are two parts to this known as “ERP” – “exposure” and “response prevention.”

 

Simply put: exposure is facing our fears, the triggers that cause our OCD and response prevention is NOT giving into our compulsions.

 

With CBT, we create a list of all our fears. We start with the easiest and work up to the more difficult fears.

 

We don’t want fears that are too easy. But fears that are challenging enough that won’t leave us devastated if we confront them.  We start off with the weakest fear and work up from there.

 

The intensity of the fears is measured by a scale: "S.U.D.S." which stands for "subjective units of distress scale" or "subjective units of disturbance scale." The greater the number, the greater the distress.

 

The plan is to build up confidence with each fear, to become accustomed to the fear so that the fear no longer holds terror in us. Once we gain confidence, we can move on to the next challenging fear.

 

It’s been said that CBT works in most cases. Few fail if they practice the principles.

 

Even if we gain confidence over our fears that once baffled us, we must constantly continue to confront them when they arise. Or they will control us as before.  

 

CBT is difficult. I have been in CBT therapy groups where people have dropped out.

 

CBT can be quite costly if we don’t have medical insurance. The wait list to take CBT is quite long. I have taken it twice having to wait over a year each time.

 

THE BRAIN and PLASTICITY

 

There is a new therapy that I find very helpful and its extension of CBT. It looks inside the brain and how certain parts of the brain work as it pertains to OCD.

 

OCD is connected to part of our brain that acts like a “sticky” gearshift. That is why we don’t respond to logic when it comes to our fears.

 

According to the book “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Canadian psychiatrist Dr. Norman Doige, M.D., the brain can heal itself. It is made up of plastic.

 

Studies have shown from brain scans that when we have an OCD attack, there are three parts of the brain that are involved - the “orbital frontal cortex”, the “cingulate gyrus” and the “caudate nucleus”. They are hyperactive in OCD sufferers.

 

The initial attack starts in the cortex which sends a signal to the cingular gyrus which triggers the dreadful anxiety causing the physical sensations we associate with dread.

 

Signals are, then, sent to the “caudate nucleus” or the “automatic gearshift” allowing our thoughts to flow from one to the next. Except in cases of OCD, where the caudate becomes extremely “sticky” and cannot process the information. Probably one of the reasons we don’t respond to logic and reasoning when it comes to our fears.

 

Because our OCD is caused by some faulty brain circuitry, the brain can heal itself if we confront our fears.

 

More specifically, the more we give in to our compulsions, they more we reinforce our fears, even though our fears are imaginative. We make matters worse.

 

But by letting go, those old circuits die making room for new circuits to grow. The brain can heal itself.

 

Or another way of looking at it: the more we give in to our compulsions, the more we want to do it; the less we do it, the less we want to do it.

 

But that principle is not easy for OCD sufferers. We do not want to confront anxiety. And we feel the only way in bringing relief is by acting out our compulsions.

 

But remember: we are being bluffed by sensations though painful. Fears are based on our imagination.

 

 

BRAIN LOCK THEORY

 

Taking it one step further, Dr. Jeffery Swartz, author of the book “Brain Lock” came up with a 4 step approach to managing one’s OCD. (The title: “Brain Lock” comes from the idea that with OCD, the first two parts of the brain are turned on and stay on as though locked in the “on position” together.)

 

His idea is to “manually shift” the gearshift with his 4 step approach.

 

The steps are as follows:

 

Step 1: Relabel

Step 2: Reattribute

Step 3: Refocus

Step 4: Revalue

 

With step 1 and 2, when one of our fears hits us, it is not an attack of germs or personal hygiene. But an attack of OCD.

 

In Step 3, we try to refocus on something positive. We try to get our minds onto something more constructive. That is difficult for many OCD sufferers. Our thoughts make us think inward. And many of us are loners.

 

The OCD doesn’t go right away due to faulty circuits in our brains. But by refocusing, (step 3,) we grow new circuits and old circuits die. This also triggers dopamine release which is very helpful.

 

Even with “Response Prevention” for a few minutes (not giving in to the compulsion) can be grounds for growing new circuits.

 

In step 4, we realize that our fears were really nothing of importance. We gain the confidence and start feeling normal.

Slogans about Pain

(We are more than happy to confront our fears – except for one little thing: if we didn’t have to confront pain. If we just could avoid pain, everything would be so simple.

As difficult as it sounds, we need pain in our lives. If we had everything going our way without struggles, I think that life would become an absolute bore.  

Unfortunately, the pain from our OCD (more like terror) can be overbearing at times.

Here are some words of wisdom encouraging us to confront our fears and bear the pain.

– Ken Munro)

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Pain is temporary. Quitting last forever.

 – Lance Armstrong

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Be fearless. Have the courage to take risks. Go where there are no guarantees. Get out of your comfort zone even if it means being uncomfortable. The road less traveled is sometimes fraught with barricades, bumps, and uncharted terrain. But it is on that road where your character is truly tested.  Have the courage to accept that you’re not perfect, nothing is and no one is — and that’s OK. 

- Katie Couric

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Facing your fears robs them of their power.

 – Mark Burnett

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

-  Eleanor Roosevelt

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Waiting to develop courage is just another form of procrastination. The most successful people take action while they’re afraid!

- Unknown‎

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it.

- Tagore

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.

-  Judy Blume

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A challenge only becomes an obstacle when you bow to it.

– Ray A. Davis

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.

– Mary Tyler Moore

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

 - Unknown

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.

-  Bertrand Russell

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.

– Jim Rohn

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.

-  Khalil Gibran

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We cannot learn without pain.

 – Aristotle

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It takes a lot more energy to bury pain than it does to confront it.

 – M.J. Abraham

* * * * * * * * * * *

If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?

 – T.S. Eliot

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

No pain, no palm; no thorns, no throne; no gall, no glory; no cross, no crown.

– William Penn

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The finest steel has to go through the hottest fire.

– Richard M. Nixon

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

Those things that hurt, instruct

– Benjamin Franklin

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There is no success without hardships.

 – Sophocles

Why I Don't Take Medications - A Personal View

(Information for this essay comes from the following sources: books “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Dr. Norman Doige, M.D., “Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder” by Dr. Jonathan Grayson, PhD., and “Love, Medicine and Miracles” by Dr. Bernie Siegel. M.D. )

                                                 * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I do not take medications for my OCD. That is my personal choice. They work for some but not for others. I’m just not a big fan of meds.

Medications do have a place in the recovery process. 

However, I’ve been to doctors who write me a prescription and simply send me home. You cannot cure anyone this way.

 

My experience with psychiatry is that meds are the first line of defense. Doctors say that OCD is bio-chemical. Therefore, meds must be used.

Let’s face facts. All emotions are bio chemical. Should we start popping pills for every human emotion? And meds are prescribed because much of the research in medicine is sponsored by the pharmaceutical companies.

Medications may quell our anxieties but often don’t eliminate the problem. The genesis of our fears must be confronted.

Medications have terrible side effects including leading to suicide thoughts. To find the right balance that works can take up to 6 – 8 weeks.

 

There are many factors why medications work for some and not for others.

Generally speaking, in medical research, a quarter to a third of patients will show improvement if they “merely believe” they are taking an effective medication even if the pill has no actual healing ingredient. This is called the “placebo” effect.

But the following must be present:

(1) meaning of illness experience for patient is altered in a positive manner

(2) patient is supported by caring group and

(3) patient sense of mastery and control over illness is enhanced.

 

Another factor to consider for meds to work: those patients who had a higher level of trust and rapport with their doctor. 

Why do meds work for some OCD sufferers and not others? Meds reduce symptoms in about 30% – 50% of patients. Patients still have to practice Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. As a matter of fact, meds are not that helpful unless accompanied by CBT.

We don't know why meds work for some OCD sufferers and not for others. There have never been any studies done to find commonalities among those who have succeeded. It is often a "hit and miss" or "trial and error" approach.

But medical researchers would be wise to ask if the patient truly wants to take meds and believes he is taking meds that he feels will work. This is called the “power of suggestion”. The patient is more likely to work at his recovery if he truly wants to take meds.

I also believe in a holistic approach in treating OCD. Medicine should treat the entire needs of the patient  - i.e. love, hope, faith, a sense of purpose, etc., and not just the illness. Personally, when I have a focus, a passion for something, my OCD symptoms are drastically reduced.

 

 

There is a problem on relying on meds exclusively. By saying that meds are mandatory for recovery allow patients not to accept any responsibility in their recovery. I have met patients, over the years, who refuse to accept this responsibility. They feel the only way for recovery is by taking meds.

Medications can help in bringing relief. It’s part of the healing package. 

But we must come to terms that much of our recovery is in our own hands. Confronting our fears that will pass if we allow them to expire, living with doubt, etc.

It’s a lot of work. And I never said it was easy.

Remember: we are being bluffed by sensations that lie to us!

It’s been said that the brain chemistry associated with OCD is capable of healing itself. We just have to be shown the way.

 

 

Finally, medications cannot do everything. They may relieve some of the suffering. But there are some things that they simply cannot do:

Medications don’t give me the wisdom to combat my fears. Only humans are capable of doing that.

Medications cannot feel my pain, show empathy and compassion towards me. Only humans can do that. Values that bring on healing.

And, finally, medications do not love me back to health. Only humans with caring hearts can do that. This, too, can ease my pain.

                                               - Ken Munro

 

 

A few Slogans About Doubt And Uncertainty

(Writer's note: if we are to have any chance of recovery, we have to learn to live with doubt and uncertainty.

If we fight for exactness, relief may be temporary. But the fears remain as well as we become prone to new fears. OCD has a mind of its own.

Remember: we are being bluffed by sensations that lie to us.

The terror from our fears will subside. I have seen this too many times. Once this happens, we are left with doubt and uncertainty. These feelings are manageable.

We have to give up the desire for exactness and perfectionism. We can live with doubt and uncertainty.

Here are a few slogans addressing doubt and uncertainty. - Ken Munro)

                                                       
                                                           * * * * * * * * * * * *

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
                                                                                                     - Helen Keller

                                                       * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Maturity of the mind is the capacity to endure uncertainty.       - John Finley

                                                       * * * * * * * * * * *

If you are scared to go to the brink, you are lost.                   - John Foster Dulles

                                                         * * * * * * * * * * *

To believe is very dull. To doubt is intensely engrossing. To be on alert is to live, to be lulled into security is to die.
                                                                                                 - Oscar Wilde

                                                            * * * * * * * * * *

Faith means living with uncertainty - feeling your way through life, letting your heart guide you like a lantern in the dark.
                                                                                                  - Dan Millman

                                                            * * * * * * * * * * * *

Exploring the unknown requires tolerating uncertainty.        - Brian Greene

                                                                * * * * * * * * * * *

Security is a kind of death.                                                    - Tennessee Williams

                                                         * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy and creativity to name a few.
                                                                                                   - Brene Brown

                                                                 * * * * * * * * * * *

Uncertainty is a permanent part of the leadership landscape. It never goes away.
                                                                                              - Andy Stanley

                                                              * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I have devoted my life to uncertainty. Certainty is the death of wisdom, thought, creativity.
                                                                                                 - Shekhar Kapur

                                                          * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life. Security is an insipid (lifeless) thing.
                                                                                                  - William Congreve

Compassion, Understanding and other Traits That We Need To Practice To Help Others In Their Recovery

 If we want to help our fellow OCD sufferers recover, we would be wise to cultivate certain qualities that will help in their healing……Compassion…. Understanding….. Empathy….And love.  The last thing that we need is someone who does not understand our pain. Nor wants to understand. It can be frustrating.

Years ago, I went to a support group for those suffering from mental illnesses. The group briefly touched on the symptoms of OCD. They offered me advice which came from the group’s literature. The members thought it was great wisdom. But they were not OCD sufferers. The members were totally clueless about my OCD. I was hurting even more. I was not only fighting my OCD, I was also fighting the members.

 

When it comes to recovery, it is not just the help one receives, it is often how it is said that can make the difference. Many people who try to help us will convey their advice/help using “sarcasm” in their tone of voice. Their advice, though "maybe" helpful, is delivered with such distain, it can hurt more than the actual emotional wounds. 

And it’s no wonder sarcasm hurts. The word “sarcasm” comes from the Greek word  ”sarco” which means “to tear flesh.”

 

We also must be aware and deter those individuals who want to play “rescuer” or “hero” to the hurting. They become amateur psychologists.

Members try to box other members into their way of thinking, their values, their philosophy. Because it has worked for them, it must work for others. We see this with the fundamental religious and life coaches. They are not aware that one man’s medicine is another man’s poison.

I believe that they are doing more harm giving such advice.

 

Things like love and empathy can work on a professional level. In his classic bestseller “The Road Less Traveled,” American psychiatrist Dr. M. Scott Peck suggests when it comes to therapy, a lay person like a plumber has a better success rate offering therapy if he offers it with love and empathy versus traditional therapy by a psychotherapist.

 

If we are in the position of helping an OCD sufferer, we can start by being a good listener. A person with a sensitive ear, a caring heart, a non judgment mind can soothe more heartaches, more emotional wounds by being that listener. Those listeners are a rare breed.

According to the book “Peace Is Every Step” by Thich Nhat Hanh,  a Zen monk, who was nominated for a Noble Peace Prize by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., “the essence of love and compassion is understanding, the ability to recognize the physical, material and psychological sufferings of others, to put ourselves "inside the skin" of the other." According to his book, "compassion means, literally, '"to suffer with.""

And, again, according to his book, if we want to understand a person, we have to “feel his feelings” and “suffer his sufferings.” The word “comprehend” is made up of the Latin roots “cum” which means “with” and “prehendere” which means “to grasp it” or “pick it up.” To comprehend something means “to pick it up and be one with it.”

Qualities like empathy and understanding are skills that we all need to hone - be it by medical professionals or by lay people. They have to be taught just like learning any discipline. I do not believe these qualities come natural.

These qualities are not absent only in the outside world. Sadly, I have met, over the years, fellow OCD sufferers who lack them as well.

The core of the Golden Rule states: treat others as you would like to be treated.” We all want compassion and understanding. But how many people are willing to practice them?