What is a Friend??

 In our struggle to overcome our OCD and our other emotional wounds, we all need a friend to lean on. To trust. For support. To help us with our challenges.

There is nothing shameful in asking and having support. Even a broken leg needs a crutch to lean on.

A friend can have all the intelligence in the world. But unless he (or she) has character, he has nothing.

A friend lives by the "Golden Rule" – treating others as he would like to be treated – and not just talks about it. Though my favourite interpretation is Taoism’s: "Treat his neighbour’s gain as his gain; his neighbour’s loss as his loss.”

Though it’s a tall order, a friend tries to practice selfless service like Albert Schweitzer, Mother Theresa or Jesus Christ. And if he can be a fraction of what these humanitarians practiced, he should be proud.

A friend realizes that not helping another is just as bad as inflicting pain – he allows someone’s pain to continue. And the only difference (if there is a difference) is the severity of that pain.

A friend sows love where there is hatred, faith where there is doubt, hope where there is despair etc., etc. as one would ask by reciting the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi.

A friend provides wisdom for a person’s pain, confusion, heartaches.  

A friend is a role model by exalting courage, confronting his own fears, anxieties, setbacks, heartaches which are often faced alone. And through perseverance, he is victorious.

A friend listens with a caring heart and does not pass judgment.  A friend sympathizes with the hurting.  A friend shows compassion. Compassion literally means "to suffer together."

A friend does not force his viewpoints in recovery, realizing the road to recovery is an individual thing. One man's medicine is another man's poison.

A friend does not use sarcasm in his tone of voice. It is hurtful. After all, sarcasm comes from the Greek work “sarco”. It means to tear flesh.

A friend has our best interest at heart, not his (without giving up his self respect).

A friend does not try to change the person into himself. In the words of Tom Merton, “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”

A friend cares.

A friend is a rare gem!!