What is a Friend??

 In our struggle to overcome our OCD and our other emotional wounds, we all need a friend to lean on. To trust. For support. To help us with our challenges.

There is nothing shameful in asking and having support. Even a broken leg needs a crutch to lean on.

A friend can have all the intelligence in the world. But unless he (or she) has character, he has nothing.

A friend lives by the "Golden Rule" – treating others as he would like to be treated – and not just talks about it. Though my favourite interpretation is Taoism’s: "Treat his neighbour’s gain as his gain; his neighbour’s loss as his loss.”

Though it’s a tall order, a friend tries to practice selfless service like Albert Schweitzer, Mother Theresa or Jesus Christ. And if he can be a fraction of what these humanitarians practiced, he should be proud.

A friend realizes that not helping another is just as bad as inflicting pain – he allows someone’s pain to continue. And the only difference (if there is a difference) is the severity of that pain.

A friend sows love where there is hatred, faith where there is doubt, hope where there is despair etc., etc. as one would ask by reciting the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi.

A friend provides wisdom for a person’s pain, confusion, heartaches.  

A friend is a role model by exalting courage, confronting his own fears, anxieties, setbacks, heartaches which are often faced alone. And through perseverance, he is victorious.

A friend listens with a caring heart and does not pass judgment.  A friend sympathizes with the hurting.  A friend shows compassion. Compassion literally means "to suffer together."

A friend does not force his viewpoints in recovery, realizing the road to recovery is an individual thing. One man's medicine is another man's poison.

A friend does not use sarcasm in his tone of voice. It is hurtful. After all, sarcasm comes from the Greek work “sarco”. It means to tear flesh.

A friend has our best interest at heart, not his (without giving up his self respect).

A friend does not try to change the person into himself. In the words of Tom Merton, “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves and not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”

A friend cares.

A friend is a rare gem!!

 

  

 

Meetings

We, as OCD sufferers, family and friends, often don't know where to turn for help. Here's a list of OCD support peer led groups available. 

CANADA

TORONTO, ONTARIO

Group name: OCD TORONTO SUPPORT GROUP
Address:
Romero House Centre (meeting place only), 1558 Bloor Street West (nearest TTC  subway station "Dundas West")
E-mail address: torontowestocdgroup@gmail.com
Contact name: Nathan Poon (Co-Facilitator) 647 - 290 - 9409

Group facilitators background/experience:
A volunteer run peer led OCD support group of almost 30 years that offers a safe, friendly and confidential environment. Our committee members/facilitators are actively engaged in the mental health community and pursuing ongoing personal development.

Is there a cost to attend the group?
Free and no registration required.

How often do the group meetings take place?
The 3rd TUESDAY from September to June from 7:00 P.M.  to 9:30 P.M.

Who is this group for?
People with OCD, family and friends.

Group's format:
We focus on ongoing recovery of OCD, self advocacy, personal development and overall wellness. In the first portion, we have group sharing. In the second portion, group updates and community happenings are discussed followed by a short break. In the third portion, a presentation from fellow members, the OCD community or wellness practitioners are provided to enrich our experience.

Activities Beyond the Group:
A secret Facebook group is available for members who would like to join. Personal online support is provided with info on mental health community happenings and various OCD newsletters plus valuable wellness tools to help members cope. Socials and other events are arranged throughout the year. Proud Organizer and Host of the Annual Toronto OCD Support Groups Forum held in August.

Group Name:
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE ANONYMOUS (OCA) FIRST TORONTO

 What?: a self help group focusing on recovery, sharing and support

Who?:  persons with OCD and/or family and friends

When?:  the 4th Thursday of each month, 6:30 - 8:15 P.M. followed by informal socializing.

Where?: NEW LOCATION: 33 Russell St. Room 2029, Ground Floor,  behind 250 College St. (the old Clarke Institute) Toronto. Russell runs parallel to College. Use main entrance on Russell. Doors lock at 6:30 p.m. Buzz security. 

How?:

(A) meetings. OCA is rooted in the 12 step program and employs various formats including video, personal stories, thematic presentations etc.

VOLUNTARY sharing and discussion are at the heart of all meetings. In addition, CONFIDENTIALITY  is a cornerstone principle of OCA.

(B) socializing and support. Informal socializing takes place after the conclusion of the meeting at around 8:15 P.M.  Members also have the opportunity to share phone numbers and e-mail addresses and join our confidential Facebook group.

(C) Resources. Many resources are available for loan including dvd's on cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), Scrupulosity, books like "The Brain that Changes Itself" and articles on CBT for OCD Mindfulness and OCD Treatment and a "Survival Guide for Family and Friends."

(D) International OCD Foundation.  Some members are regular attendees at the annual IOCDF CONFERENCES and are able to share new information and resources at meetings, including booklets of all the lecture notes from particular conferences.

Why? to work towards recovery from OCD and to meet others on their own recovery journey.

Other: there are no dues or fees, nor is any registration necessary. A collection is taken up (giving is totally optional) according to the seven tradition of most 12 step programs.

Contacts: Jenn @ ocatorontogroup@gmail.com 
                               to receive BCC e-mails re: meetings, related events
                
                  Mary Lyn @ mlkieffer@gmail.com
                
                 Joe @ jj14@rogers.com

Website: ocatoronto.ca

YOU ARE NO LONGER ALONE!!

Hugging - The Cure For What Ails Us

(Information for this essay comes from the following websites: sott.net and calmclinic.com)

 

There are a host of medical benefits why hugging is good for us such as enhancing one’s immune system. But there are a couple of benefits that may be of interest for OCD sufferers.

Hugging stimulates dopamine, the pleasure hormone. Dopamine gives us that feel good feeling and helps with motivation.

Procrastination, self doubt, lack of enthusiasm are linked with low levels of dopamine. Hugs are said to adjust these levels.

Hugging also stimulates serotonin. Serotonin flows when we feel significant or important. Loneliness and depression appear when serotonin is absent.

Low levels of serotonin are linked to OCD.

Hugging for an extended time lifts one serotonin levels, elevating mood and creates happiness.

Hugging is something that we all need. It is definitely something we can all give.

                                             * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The following piece comes from a “Dear Abby” column submitted by Eileen Perry. It's about the benefits of hugging.

 

No moveable parts

No batteries to wear out

No periodic check ups

Low energy consumption

High energy yield

Inflation proof

No monthly payments

No insurance requirements

Theft proof

Non taxable

Non polluting

And, of course, fully returnable

 

Hugging is healthy

It relieves tension

Combats depression

Reduces stress

Improves blood circulation

It’s invigorating

It’s rejuvenating

It elevates self esteem

It generates good will

It has no unpleasant side effects

It is nothing less than a miracle drug