What Is it Like To Have OCD?....Help For Family And Friends

I’ve heard it so many times….From family…..From friends…..Even fellow OCD sufferers.

My OCD has been acting up and people all around me say….Why can’t you just forget this nonsense?....Stop worrying!!....Just think positive!! People give me advice that hurt me even more.

So, what is it like to have OCD?

First, what is OCD?

OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and is diagnosed as repetitious thoughts and/or actions motivated by fear and anxiety. To reduce the anxiety, we “ritualize” - acting out our compulsions by repeating certain things until it feels right.

Most of us know that our fears are “irrational.” They are based on our imagination. They logically make no sense. We may have these fears but, in reality, we are being bluffed by a sensation that deceive and emotionally cripple us.

And according to the website “Theguardian.com”, the World Health Organization (WHO) lists OCD as one of the top 10 most debilitating illnesses.

 

Let me put you in the mind of an OCD sufferer and what we have to confront. I believe that we all have the following feelings. OCD sufferers have them more.

Have you ever felt the following: you have left your home, you get half way down the road and you have a sudden thought that causes anxiety: …….Did I turn off the stove? …..Did I turn off the faucets? ……Did I put out my cigarette in the ashtray? Etc…etc.,...Something is troubling you and you cannot get in it out of your mind.

You try to reason with your anxiety. You go over and over in your mind, replaying what you did and what you might not have done. No amount of thinking it through brings peace of mind.

You just cannot get this “thing” out of your mind.

Somebody tells you just to forget it. But this is futile. You want to forget it. And get it out of your mind. And get on with your life.

Now multiple those feelings about 100, 200, even 1000 times a day. And that’s what many OCD sufferers go through.

We’ve all had these feelings. Fortunately, for most, it is fairly rare. But OCD sufferers have them on a consistent basis.

You wouldn’t tell an alcoholic wanting a drink to forget it. You wouldn’t tell someone suffering with the flu to stop feeling this way. Then why should an OCD sufferer plagued by his anxiety be treated any differently? To tell him to forget his problem is telling him to forget his pain.

For recovery, pain must run its course.

Another feeling we confront: have you ever handed anything in – a report, an essay, sent out a letter – you know is right. But something doesn’t “feel right.”You keep checking and checking.

Or you’re about to leave your house, you’ve checked half a dozen times. Again, something doesn’t “feel right.”  And you keep checking.

We’ve all done this. OCD sufferers just do more of it.

We keep giving into our compulsion until it feels right. We have trouble living with uncertainty and doubt. That is why OCD is called “The Doubting Disease.”

The more that the OCD sufferer gives into his fears, the more anxiety he creates and more fears become prey to his OCD. It’s been said that if you give your OCD an inch, it takes a mile.

We all have one or two obsessions/compulsions. Medical officials feel when obsessions/compulsions control one’s life, consuming much of a person’s time, then there is a medical problem.

What’s the difference between obsessions and compulsions? Obsessions are the thoughts or ideas that the sufferer cannot get rid of. They cause anxiety. Compulsions are the physical acts or rituals to neutralize his anxiety.

What I have mentioned here is one small facet of OCD – checking things. There is a host of other behaviors that plague OCD sufferers – hand washing, doing things in a specific order, avoiding words/phrases to name a few.

 

What causes OCD? Were we born this way? Is it caused by some brain chemical imbalance? Or is there something “broken” in our brains? There are many prevailing theories.

One of the theories that I find comforting comes from the book “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Canadian psychiatrist Dr. Norman Doige, M.D.

Studies have shown from brain scans that when we have an OCD attack, there are three parts of the brain that are involved - the “orbital frontal cortex”, the “cingulate gyrus” and the “caudate nucleus”. They are hyperactive in OCD sufferers.

The initial OCD attack starts in the cortex which sends a signal to the cingulate gyrus which triggers the dreadful anxiety causing the physical sensations we associate with dread.

Signals are, then, sent to the “caudate nucleus” or the “automatic gearshift” allowing our thoughts to flow from one to the next. Except in cases of OCD, where the caudate becomes extremely “sticky”.

Probably one of the reasons we don’t respond to logic and reasoning when it comes to our fears. And why comments like “just snap out of it” by those around us are so futile and insulting. And why unresolved fears often torment us. And why we cannot wrestle our negative feelings into submission in an instant.

 

The main treatments for OCD are medications and CBT or Cognitive Behavior Therapy.


The cornerstone of CBT is “ERP” – “E” is for “exposure therapy” where the sufferer faces his fears and “RP” for “response prevention” where he is prevented giving into his rituals to neutralize his anxiety. To say it is difficult is an understatement.

And the wait to take CBT is torturous long. I’ve taken it twice. I had to wait over a year each time.

If the sufferer has no medical insurance to cover treatment, CBT can be extremely expensive.

As for medications, research says that meds work for only 30% - 50% of patients and only accompanied with CBT. There are also the negative side effects including suicidal thoughts.

 

There is no instant cure for OCD. Many of us have to work on our recovery for a life time. The road to getting better is long, painful and difficult.

When our OCD acts up, please do NOT tell us to just forget this nonsense!…. Or just stop worrying!....Or just think positive!.  We’d love to be able to do this.

If you want to be helpful, understanding and empathy with our pain and frustrations without being judgmental can go a long way.

                                                                       - Ken Munro